


I Promise

by Thedoa



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi
Genre: Angst, Ben Solo - Freeform, Cuddling, Dating, F/M, Fluff, Kissing, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Redemption, Lightsaber Battles, Lots of plot, Lovey-Dovey, Millennium Falcon - Freeform, Naboo - Freeform, Near Death Experiences, No Smut, POV Kylo Ren, POV Rey (Star Wars), Resistance Member Ben Solo, Rey Solo, The Dark Side - Freeform, The Force, Vacation, happy kylo ren, i certainly don't, kylo on the beach, kylo ren smiles, maybe a wedding who knows, rey sees a beach for the first time, the light side
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-08
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2018-09-07 07:05:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8788270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thedoa/pseuds/Thedoa
Summary: Kylo Ren and Rey have slowly fallen in love but he doesn't realize until he stabs Rey. So begins their some-times-romantic-some-times-perilious-adventures with the Resistance and with each other. They kick ass together and are really cute together. Lots of fluff, lots of plot, lots of twists. Who knows what'll happen, you'll just have to read!





	1. Chapter 1

I Promise

Chapter 1  
Rey’s POV

 

The shadows shifted as the moon rose over the forests of Endor. His raw scar shining as blood trickled down his face. He stared at me, his eyes deep pools of mud. I shivered as the wind tickled me with it’s cold fingers.  
“Ben,” I say, my voice gruff, my throat aching. His eyes shone with a flash of worry. I never knew I had that effect on him, causing him to show his emotions upon his usually blank face. He dropped to his knees besides me, placing his hands upon my bleeding abdomen. He was scared, I could feel it although he would never convey that to me, never break his strong persona. I smiled, running my hands through his silky hair.  
“Don’t leave,” I whispered.  
“What have I done?” He cried, and scooped me up in his strong arms. I groaned, my stab wound burning like a thousand suns. 

 

Kylo’s POV

 

I ran with Rey in my arms, her blood trickling over my black sleeve, turning it sticky. I shuddered, watching her like this killed me. I did this to her, this is my fault. I got wrapped up in the dark side, in trying to be worthy of my title. In doing so I almost killed the only woman I have ever loved. I don’t deserve her love, I’ve killed people, I killed my father. But I have her love, and I will never understand why. Why would she choose me over her best friend FN2187? Over someone better for her? Maybe I’m more selfish than she believes me to be, because if I weren’t I wouldn’t let her love me, I wouldn't let her get wrapped up in this and almost killed. I would send her far away, let her live her life safely. But maybe I am selfish, because I can’t bring myself to do it.  
I spot my ship ahead, stormtroopers lining the entrance. They point their guns as I approach, and drop them after realizing it’s me. I nod my head and send the storm troopers flying away from the craft. I can’t having anyone knowing what’s happening. I must keep up the fasade, at least for now. I run on the ship, the blood from my wound mingling on the metal floor with Rey’s blood. I lay her down on the seats in the main cabin, strapping her in for the jump to lightspeed. I caress her hair and whisper,  
“You will be okay my love, I promise.”

 

Rey

 

When the shadows fade to sunlight I see him, standing above me, wearing the traditional brown robes of a jedi knight. I smile and he smiles back, staring at the first sun’s rise over the dunes. I recognize this place as Tatooine, a place I once visited with Han Solo. Kylo plops down besides me,  
“hello my love,” he coos, his love filling me. I look over at the sun rise and suddenly they reverse and the planet darkens. Trees grow up around us, full of moss and vines. The sky is black, there is no light.  
“Ben?” I call, glancing around, fear filling me to the core. I hear the sound of a lightsaber and jerk around to see Kylo’s scarred face basked in the glow of his red lightsaber. He was in his dark leather clothes and the smile had disappeared from his somber face.  
“Ben died a long time ago, the darkness swallowed him. Just like it’s going to do to you,”  
My hand reached for my lightsaber as he approached. I pressed the button and was met by a blinding red light. I gasped and turned around, staring at my reflection in a puddle. I was wearing all black and had the mark of the First Order on my arm. Kylo stopped besides me, grinning evilly. 

 

I sat up with a gasp. Kylo also gasped and pulled his hand away from mine. Fluorescent lights blinded me, and the scent of bacta fluids filled my nose. Kylo ran his hands through my hair and smiled down at me.  
“Ben?” I whispered. He glanced behind him and whispered to me “shhh now that you’re awake we don't have long. We are going to escape, I’m going to pretend to take you somewhere to dispose of you, but we have to avoid Hux, he’ll never let me leave with you. We will run to Naboo. There we can stay in a house in the country, away from the First Order. I’ll tell them I’m off running a mission. But Rey, you need to understand, I can’t leave the First Order yet, they can’t know I’m with the Resistance now. The only way for us to take down Snoke is if we do it together. Only you and I are strong enough, Rey.” This was all too much for my groggy mind to take in, but I shook away the stupor and nodded.  
“When do we leave?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They escape from the First Order and Kylo shows his feelings

Rey’s POV

 

Sneaking off of the First Order ship was easy, the only challenge we faced was making sure Hux didn’t see us. He would never let Kylo take me off the ship, as they had been hunting me down for years, and he couldn’t wait to watch me die. Not today Hux, I thought as Kylo bound my hands. We were giving off the image that I was still prisoner, as he had convinced the crew when he brought my bloodied body aboard the ship. Kylo is so feared that no one questioned him when he told them to put me in the bacta tank. Kylo laid his palm on a fingerprint scanner and the door popped open with a hissing sound. He gently grabbed my wrists and pulled me in front of him,then nudged me out the door. I looked at the floor as we walked through the grey halls, our footsteps echoing along with those of the storm troopers. My hair fell in my eyes and I tried to blow it out of my face to no avail. The ground was cold against my bare feet, I guess I lost my shoes when I was put into the bacta tank. I could feel the stares of all the First Order soldiers as we shuffled through the hall.  
I felt the cold air of the frigid base planet wash over me as the hanger door opened, revealing towering ships, similar to the ones used by The Empire in the old days. Kylo really had idolized his grandfather. That was changed now, Kylo’s vision wasn’t shrouded in darkness like it used to be, I thought.  
Kylo

 

She was so beautiful, the thin material of the white nightgown hanging off her shoulders like a waterfall. Her blue eyes, turned to the floor, were full of determination. She was pushing the darkness out of me, but I still felt it. The pull of the dark side, it’s something very hard to come back from, but I knew I could with her help.  
Look at me, I’m a big sap.  
I was jerked out of my thoughts when a hanger guard approached me, I stood up straight,  
“Prepare my cruiser for departure, I won’t be taking any storm troopers with me on this trip,” The guard nodded and briskly walked towards the control room. We waited for the pilot and then followed him aboard the cruiser. 

 

Rey

 

Kylo sat me down on the bench and leaned in close, “you can fly right?” he whispered.  
“I’ve never flown one of these before, but I’m sure I can figure it out,” he nodded and walked towards the flight deck, leaving me in the hull. A moment later I heard his lightsaber and a fleshy thump. I shuddered as he walked back into the hull, his helmet under his arm. “Was that really necessary?” I asked as he untied me. “We can’t have them tracking us can we?” I sighed, “I suppose I should disable the tracker then?” I asked. He smiled a tight smile, pressing his lips together.  
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. I stepped close and took his hands, “why?” I said with a kind smile “you’re protecting me, you're amazing,” he shook his head.  
“I stabbed you, I killed my father, your friend, I will never live that down,” he lowered his head staring at the floor. I put my hand under his chin and brought his face up to look at me,  
“That wasn’t you, you had been seduced by the dark side. It wasn’t your fault, it was Snoke’s. Okay? All we have to focus on now is bringing down Snoke,” he nodded silently.  
“There’s a Resistance Base a couple light minutes away from Naboo. We can stay in Naboo and devise a plan and call them when we are ready.” I told Kylo.  
“Okay,” he said  
“Okay, let get moving.” I responded headed towards the cockpit.

 

Kylo

 

I hated showing my feelings like that, I had kept everything bottled up for years, having a literal and metaphorical mask hiding my feelings. But with Rey I couldn’t help it, she makes me weak, but I like it. I like not having to be the strong one all the time and letting her be the strong one. She is so strong, and so beautiful and I want to scream it to the whole galaxy. I sat in the passenger seat, watching her pilot the bulky ship with the precision of a skilled First Order pilot. The ship rose up off the ground, hovering for a moment before shooting like a slingshot into the night. We flew above the trees and as we reached the middle of the atmosphere Rey prepared the ship for light speed. She was silent as she began procedures,  
“3... 2... 1” she muttered and then I was thrown back into my seat as we shot off into the sky.


	3. Naboo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> like 1/4 of this was written at 1 Am but the parts I wrote while semi conscious are better then the parts I wrote fully conscious so

Chapter 3  
Kylo

The Millennium Falcon drifted to a stop and landed with a soft thump on the sandy ground adjacent to my grandmother’s old home. I peered through the window at the blue, cloudless sky, and the tropical weather. I smiled when Rey glanced at me, “my mother took me here sometimes, said the house went to her when her mother died. I always loved Naboo... Come on,” I took her hand and led her off of the freighter. The humid air blasted up as the ramp lowered, heat enveloping us like a slightly damp blanket. A giant grin spread across Rey’s face as she took in the beach in front of us. She starting running, pulling me with her towards a giant lake. “Look at all the water! I've only ever seen that color in the sky! Nothing's ever been this beautiful before!” she stood standing in awe at the beauty of this planet. I grinned even wider. She took her shoes off and threw them down the empty beach. Rey ran to the water and stopped at the edge, watching the warm water brush her toes before being dragged out again. She smiled in awe, and I dragged my heavy robe and my shoes off, leaving me in a black undershirt and pants. I stepped down the beach, my toes curled in the sand and I grinned at the beautiful woman playing in the lake. I sat in the sand just above the furthest point the waves can reach. Rey came running up, her pants soaked up to her knees, and plopped down next to me in the sand.

 

Rey

 

Kylo smiled at me, one of the rare, genuine smiles he saves only for me. I smiled back and laid back in the sand, feeling the warm, coarse material against my bare shoulders and arms. My wet pants and robe stuck to my knees, cooling my legs before the sun could bake them like fried tauntaun. As I settled into the sand and my excitement died down I noticed the slight throbbing in my abdomen, Kylo had pulled me out of the Bacta tank early so it wasn’t yet fully healed. I pressed my hand to my stomach and I was suddenly pulled into the dark, like a black hole had sucked me up. I was alone in the dark, I called for help but no one answered. I started to run, tripping over invisible roots and crawlers. I fell flat on my face, suddenly feeling heat against the back of my head, I turned around and saw a red lightsaber nearly against my face. And basked in the glow of the red lightsaber was the face of Kylo Ren, not my Ben, Kylo, with a cold, blank stare on his face. I backed up, crawling like a crab on all fours, still facing Kylo; and I fell head first through a hole in the ground. Suddenly I was standing in front of a mirror. But it wasn’t myself in the mirror, the woman in the mirror was cold, and cruel. She was pale and dressed in Black robes; she was holding a red lightsaber.  
Suddenly the beach came back to me, I sat up with a gasp, my eyes burning with the sudden light that attacked them. Kylo sat next to me looking concerned, his hand tenderly resting on my shoulder. I shoved my hair off my sweaty forehead, still shaken by the force vision, Kylo was saying something but I didn’t hear it. “...Rey... Rey” came through the wall I had built around myself, the sound of his voice calling me crashing through it like a wrecking ball.  
“Rey? Rey are you okay? What happened?” Kylo said moving his hand to caress my cheek. His thumb moved softly back and forth and his piercing black eyes stared into mine.  
“It was a... force vision... but it was dark I wasn't sure what was going on... I... don't know” I lied to him. I hated to, but he couldn't know about this, about my visions of the dark side and the subtle doubt I feel about all this. He pressed his forehead to mine, our noses barely touching. I felt guiltily for lying to him but when he softly pressed his lips to mine that all melted away. I pushed against him, increasing the intensity of the kiss as I pushed away my guilt and ran my fingers through his hair. The sun beat against our faces and bare arms as our lips brushed against each other’s. The kiss was sweet, and passionate, and everything I had hope for from my first kiss with Kylo.

 

Kylo

 

Feeling her lips against mine was the best thing in this world. It was even sweeter than how the dark side tasted when I first tried it. It was soft, and warm, and god, she is so beautiful. I could have done that forever. This was the therapy I needed, the light to drive out my dark. It was perfect, she was perfect; and in that moment there was only us, no First Order, no Rebels, no fight. Just me and her, kissing on a beach in Naboo by my grandmother’s house. When the kiss broke we sat for a while and stared into each other’s eyes until we felt our cheeks and arms start burn under the hot sun. It was all surreal to me; the fact that I was holding her hand as I lead her to the house,how she lightly kissed me when we got to the door; and how she ran her fingers through my hair when she did this. She went to find a bedroom to lie down in, leaving me at the door staring at her as she walked away. Before Rey was out of sight, she turned, winked and said  
“Come on, lover boy,” and crooked her finger at me.


	4. Resistance base

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey takes Kylo to the Rebel Base on D'Qar  
> sorry this is pretty crappy, I promise it'll be better in later chapters, I've got good ideas ;)

Chapter 4 ~ Resistance Base

 

2 weeks later

 

Rey

 

I woke up to the sun streaming through the floor to ceiling windows. Kylo's shirtless form still asleep tangled up in the comforter. I silently placed my feet on the cold wooden floor and crept across the room, careful not to wake him. I slid out the door and onto the terrace, the warm, salty air filling my nostrils. I leaned against the railing and stared out at the water. My bare toes curled against the cool concrete, the sun not high enough yet to heat it. I looked out at the distant moon in the sky, not yet disappeared and thought of our agreement. Kylo had told me that the First Order couldn't know that he was with the Resistance, that we had to hide on Naboo. But as I stared at that moon, I was reminded of my mission, save the galaxy, destroy the First Order. Kylo would be the ultimate secret weapon for the resistance; and I thought it was time I go home, let my new lover meet my family. Of course by 'my family', I meant Finn and Poe, and the rest of the Resistance.  
I walked back into our shared room, this time with a purpose.  
"get your stuff together we're leaving," I told Kylo, flinging the covers off the bed.  
"What?" he murmured, his voice thick with sleep.  
"We are going to D'Qar," I told him, tossing clothes at him.  
"D'Qar? that sounds familiar... what's on D'Qar?" his sleepy voice slurred.  
"The Resistance Base," I said shoving my stuff in a satchel. Kylo sat up when he heard that, his eyes widening to the size of saucers.  
"We can't go there! They'll kill me!" he exclaimed.  
"I won't let them, once we explain our situation to them, it'll be okay," I told him reassuringly, looking him in the eyes.

 

Kylo

Rey packed and prepped the ship while I slowly dressed myself, thinking about the day ahead of me. She was always so positive, but I knew for sure that they'd arrest me as soon as we landed on D'Qar. I just hoped I wouldn't have to use the dark side. Rey came back to the door and leaned against the frame.  
"It's going to be alright, I can't promise they won't arrest you, but they trust me, they'll see reason," I smiled at her and got up, crossing the floor in two seconds, and kissing her in less than one. I pressed my hands against her face, kissing her deeply and intensely. When we broke, I smiled at her,  
"I love your optimism, truly I do..." I hesitated. She raised her eyebrows,  
"I'm sensing a but here."  
"I don't know that they'll ever trust me, after what I've done, I don't know how you trust me." Rey smiled kindly at me,  
"Oh, they'll never fully trust you, but they will enough for us to win this war. As for me... well, I'm not sure why I trust you as much as I do, I guess I've always been good at seeing the best in people. Now, let's go," she said, pulling my out of the bedroom, and out of the house, and into the cruiser.

 

Rey

The cruiser was met with a swarm of Resistance soldiers armed with blasters. When the door opened I told Kylo to wait, and walked out with my hands up. Once they saw my they dropped the guns and I was met with hugs and questions about where I was and what happened.  
"Please do not shoot, but I brought a guest, and he comes in good wishes, free from the dark side. Ben?" I said looking back into the ship. Kylo tentatively stepped out into the light and immediately the guns were back up. I grabbed his hand, and we stood in gentle defiance in front of the entire resistance, as they trained their blasters on us, well, on him.  
"Kylo comes in peace, and you can feel free to arrest him, and question him, and he will abide peacefully, but if you shoot him you'll have me to answer to and I'm just getting the hang of the force." I told them. Poe creeped up the steps, before tentatively placing Kylo in handcuffs. I let go of his hand and he followed Poe through the crowd. I stood, among all my friends, watching as they carried off the love of my life, uncertain of what the future would hold, I knew it wasn't going to be easy for any of us, but I also knew that it would be good.


	5. Questions

Chapter 5 ~ Questions

 

Rey

 

I paced anxiously outside the rebel base’s interrogation room, biting my thumb nervously. Kylo... or... Ben, god I’m still getting used to that, was in there being interrogated by General Organa and Poe. It was an odd situation for the rebellion, I was seen as a hero for bringing the leader of the First Order in, even though that wasn’t what happened. Never had a Sith lord turned himself into the Jedi, or Resistance, or whoever was fighting them at that time. The Resistance didn’t know what to make of this and no matter how many times I tried to explain they didn’t listen. So all I could do was wait.   
The door opened and General Organa came out with a pained expression on her face, I had forgotten how hard this must be for her, Ben is her son.   
“Thank you,” she said, “for bringing my son home,” she smiled warmly and touched my arm lightly.  
“General-” I started.  
“Leia, please,” she smiled.  
“Leia, you have to know. Your son isn’t bad, he’s kind hearted and here because he wants to be better.” I told her.  
“I know she said. I can see it in his eyes. I trust him, but the rest of the base will be reluctant to, so we can’t release him yet, as painful as it is, for the both of us, he needs to be confined until we convince everyone else.” She explained with her hand on my arm and a kind look in her eyes.  
“I understand.” I responded, glancing forlornly at the door. “Can I see him?” I asked. Leia and Poe glanced at each other,   
“You can have five minutes, but that’s all I can give you.” Poe said.   
“Okay,” I nodded, “thanks.”

 

Kylo

 

I heard hushed voices outside the reinforced steel door, and staring at it I couldn’t help but see it’s flaws. If I had my lightsaber I could tear right through that titanium and probably kill whoever was on the other side. However, I did not have my lightsaber, and I wasn’t looking to kill anyone. It’s just a habit, a trick I learned from Uncle Luke before the dark side corrupted me into using it as a way to kill. I glanced at the cuffs binding my hands to the cold metal table, they could easily be taken off using a little bit of the force and hardly any effort. This room wouldn’t hold someone trying to escape for a second, luckily, I wasn’t trying to escape.  
The big clunk of a heavy lock being lifted echoed off the titanium and concrete walls and a second later the door slowly creaked open. Rey stuck her head through and sighed a huge sigh of relief when she saw that I was okay. She ran to me and wrapped her arms around my neck, burying my head in her chest. She smiled when she pulled away, and whispered,  
“Hey.”  
“Hey.” I whispered back smiling and pulling her in for a kiss. My hands rested against her waist, as far as I could move them with the handcuffs on, as her lips caressed my upper lip, her hands buried in my hair. The kiss felt like it lasted forever and when we pulled away, we both had to take a deep breath. She glanced at my hands, frowning at the cuffs that bound my wrists within 5 inches of the steel table. With a turn of her open palm she opened them and they fell, clattering on the table. I rubbed my wrists and mouthed ‘thank you.’ She kneeled down and rested her arms across my legs.  
“They say they’re gonna have to keep you confined,” she whispered against my knee, where she was resting her head, fiddling with a rip in the knee of my pants. “The Resistance doesn’t trust you, but Leia does.” she looked up at my with hope in her eyes. I stroked her hair,   
“That’s good, maybe... maybe I can get my mother back,” I said, pain working its way up my throat and to my eyes, “I already lost my father.” that last part was barely a whisper.   
“I know,” she whispered, playing with the frayed fabric around the tear, her eyes full of pain and turned away from my face.  
“Hey,” I said nudging her face up to look at me, “it’s going to be okay, I promise.”  
“Okay.” she mumbled against my knee. We sat there in silence, me stroking her hair, until the door opened and the pilot told us our time was up. Rey rose and turned to leave, then, at the last moment turned back, and ran to me. She took my face in my hands and kissed me deeply, I raised my hands to her waist and kissed her back. Then, I gently pushed her away, breaking the kiss, and mouthed I promise to her. She smiled sadly and followed the pilot out of the room.

 

Rey

 

I was restless that night, my entire body filled with worry. I didn’t know what they were going to do to him, where he was, how he was. I layed most of the night tossing and turning, thinking about that final kiss and the red marks the handcuffs had left on him. I finally fell asleep around sunrise.   
A dark moon rose over the forest, the breeze bringing down a rainfall of leaves around me. The reds and oranges filling my vision. I felt warm, and safe, the leaves enveloping me like a cocoon. But when they all had fallen, revealing the dark, bare trees that had once been so colorful, I was filled by this dark longing, this sense of something pulling me. My feet began moving and I let them lead me, feeling that I had to find what was pulling me, that I needed to find the source of this longing. I emerged from the dead forest, onto a cliff. I stood on the edge and looked down, down into a dark abyss. Above me I heard an explosion, my eyes shot upward, and above me, off into space, was a massive debris field filled with fire and screams. Somehow I knew it was D’Qar, and somehow, I felt nothing. I heard the screams, saw the fire, smelled the smoke, but I felt nothing. My soul was empty, my being filled with feelings of hatred, disgust, and longing. I felt the image of the burning rebel base burn into my eyes and I laughed.  
I woke breathing heavily, tears streaming down my face, choking on sobs. My hands frantically searched the bed for Ben, upon feeling nothing I remembered yesterday’s events and sobbed even harder.   
I lay in my bed, feeling empty and alone, until I heard a knock at the door.   
“What?” I called out in the most stable voice I could manage.  
“It’s me, Finn, can I come in?” The voice of my best friend came through the door. I got up, wiping my nose on my sleeve and opened the door. Finn eyed me up and down, quirking his eyebrow at my pajama pants and tousled hair.   
“Are you okay?” he asked, standing in front of me after I sat on my bed.   
“I don’t know what’s going to happen to Ben, I didn’t get much sleep, and I think I might be going dark side,” I told him.   
“Look,” he said sitting next to me, “Kylo... er, Ben is going to be fine, he will have to face his crimes against the galaxy, but we know he was just Snoke’s puppet and I think they’re going to give him a deal, get him to spy for us or something like that. And you’re not going dark side,” he stated matter-of-factly.  
“You don’t know, I’ve been having these dreams...” and I told him about the dreams. Once I had finished he nodded and said,  
“It’s probably because you’ve been hanging out with a sith lord, you’ll be fine, I promise. Now, get some sleep, I’ll come back later.”

 

Kylo

 

I lay awake in the cold dark cell they had put me in after they were done questioning me. The hard steel of the bed digging into my shoulder blades, the damp air settling around me. They had put the cuffs back on me after Rey left and never taken them off, so I lay with my hands bound together resting on my stomach.   
I could feel her, just barely. She was crying, and I wanted to reach out to her but the cuffs dampened the Force so all I could do was sense her. I heard a door opened and I glanced up, the door was closed, it was from the other end of the bond. A voice, the traitor, talking to Rey. After a while he left and I felt her slowly drift off to sleep. With her finally at peace I was able to put my thoughts to rest and drift off as well.  
They confined me for three days before I was brought before my mother and the other higher ups of the Resistance. They would be the ones to decide my fate, and as I looked into my mother’s eyes, I, for the first time, had no idea what that fate would be.


	6. The trial of Kylo Ren

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trial! what will happen to Kylo? + some good making out and concerned Poe.

Rey

 

Kylo sat on a fold out chair in front of one of those plastic tables, his hands bound with force inhibiting cuffs. He was wearing the brown uniform of the resistance, borrowed from a closet somewhere and two inches too short for him. I watched from the spectator area in the hanger. Usually they held trials in smaller conference rooms but the crowd for this one was so large that they had to move it into the hanger.  
The room grew quiet as General Organa stood, holding out a hand to silence the large crowd before she spoke.  
“We are all here today to bear witness to the trial of Kylo Ren of the First Order. Today we will decide his fate: whether he should join us,” there was a loud murmur and somes boos at that, she held out her hand to silence the crowd again.  
“Or be locked away for his crimes.” She didn’t look at her son once during her speech, staring at the crown instead. Her eyes fell on me in the front row and she gulped, looking extremely pained. She sat back down and her admiral began the questioning.  
“Please state your name.”  
“Ben Solo.” the crowd looked confused and Leia lowered her head, rubbing the fatigue and worry out of her eyes.  
“Did you or did you not work under Supreme Leader Snoke, learning the ways of the dark side from him?”  
“I did.” Ben stated plainly, looking the admiral straight in the eyes. The admiral grew nervous and glanced away, continuing his barrage on Ben.  
“Were you in charge of the First Order?”  
“No, that was Snoke. I was merely his puppet, I did what he wanted.”  
“Why?” Ben was becoming visibly annoyed, he shifted in his chair and huffed.  
“Why? Because he was my master. Because if I refused him he could’ve wiped me out with the swipe of a hand. Because I was so deep in the dark side all I could see was war and murder and my mission.”  
“What was your mission?”  
“Wipe out the Resistance, bring order to the galaxy under the First Order.” There was an angry murmur through the crowd at that, Leia had to silence them again.  
“You said ‘was deep in the dark side,’ past tense. Are you no longer part of the dark side?”  
“Not as much. It’s hard, just leaving the dark side. It doesn’t want to leave your system, it’s like a parasite. But I can hold it back almost all the time now.”  
“Did you just suddenly decide to go light side?”  
“No.”  
“Why then?”  
“Her.” Ben said nodding at me.   
“Who?” the admiral said turning around to look at the audience.  
“Rey.” he said, pointing to me. I felt all the attention shift to me and sheepishly lowered my head, feeling the anger and confusion directed at me from every person in that room. I also felt the love emanating from Kylo through our bond, just barely because of the cuffs, but it was still there.  
“What about Rey made you go light side?”  
“I love her,” My head jerked up, that was the first time he’d said that. He smiled at me and continued,  
“And I want to be a better man for her, and man she deserves. A man she can love. I want to be a man that my mother can love. I want to be able to look into the mirror and like the man I see. I don’t want to lose anymore people, I want to be happy and loved. And if I need to take down the First Order, all that I built, to ensure the happiness of my girlfriend and my mother, the you can be damn sure I’m going to kill Snoke myself.”

 

Kylo

 

Rey sat in the front of the rambunctious crowd, staring at me, her eyes as wide as saucers in surprise at my last statement. The admiral was asking me something but all I could do was stare into those big hazel eyes of hers.  
“Ren?” the admiral was shouting now.  
“I’m sorry?” I said, shaking head and shifting my concentration back to the admiral interviewing me.   
“I said, why should we trust you?”  
“Did you not hear what I just said? Love is the best motivator in the world. Unless Rey and my mother decides that they like me better darkside, I’m staying in the light.” I told him matter of factly, my anger at this man’s stupidity spiking. It was good I had the cuffs on or I might’ve lashed out.  
“But you’ve switched sides before, is it true you snapped and killed all of Luke Skywalker’s padawans while studying under him?”  
“Yes, but as I said,” my hand curled into fists,  
“I wasn’t myself, I was dark side.” The soda can on the table started to slowly cave in on itself as I took out my anger out on it. The admiral backed away a couple steps, eyeing the can, before continuing,  
“How can we trust you won’t just switch again?”  
“Well that’s a risk you’ll just have to take, I guess.”  
“If we let you stay,”  
“Yes, I suppose if you let me stay.” I said, only mocking him a little.  
“I think we have all we need, we’ll discuss and be back in an hour. Take him back to his cell.” The admiral nodded towards a guard who walked up and grabbed my wrists roughly.   
“Wait,” Rey said, stopping the guard from dragging me off.   
“Leave him.” She told the guard. I could feel her using the force on him, bending him to her will. He nodded and walked away. The admiral had already left with the others and the crowd was slowly dispersing.   
Rey stood on the other side of the table and stared at me.  
“You... you love me?” she asked timidly. I suddenly felt embarrassed, a feeling I hadn’t had since I was a boy failing to lift a rock in front of the other padawans. I turned my face down slightly and nodded. I felt a hand on my chin and looked up, Rey’s face was inches from mine now, I hadn’t even heard her move around the table.  
“I love you too” I whispered, her lips almost touching mine, her hazel eyes gazing deeply into mine. I tilted my chin forward and caught her lips. Her hands moved to my hair, tangled in the long locks, as she kissed me back, deeply. I so wanted to put my hands on her, but they were still bound with the cuffs. I reluctantly broke the kiss,   
“Rey, the cuffs.” I whispered against her lips.  
“Oh!” she said, and with a twist of her hand they were off. I smiled at her and immediately pushed my hands into her hair, bringing her in for another deep kiss. I stood from the chair so that I had to bend over in order not to break the kiss, but it was worth it because the feeling of her body against mine melted away all of the stress from the past couple hours. Hell, the past couple days. She lightly bit my lower lip to get me to open my mouth and I grinned against her as she slipped her tongue into my mouth. Now that the cuffs were off I could feel her through our bond, her mind burning red hot as our tongues battled for dominance. I smirked a little, and started to use to force to place kisses along her neck. She gasped as I continued to barrage her with real, and force, kisses. I broke our heated kiss and started to actually kiss down her neck, ceasing the bombardment of force kisses. When I had gotten to about her collarbone I heard a loud and clear,  
“Ehem.” We jerked away from each other, noticing, for the first time, the person standing before us. My mother. I felt my face glow red with embarrassment and saw Rey’s do the same.  
“Mother,” I gasped, “aren’t you supposed to be discussing the trial?” She crossed her arms and shook her head at us,   
“I’m biased so i’m not allowed an opinion.” She stated.   
“I went to your cell and you weren’t there.” She glared at us both, then, out of the blue, smacked both of us on the arms.  
“You two can’t be using the force on my resistance fighters!” she smacked us each again on the bicep.

 

Rey

 

General Organa had Ben sent back to his cell for the remaining time before the verdict, so I sat in the empty seating area, thinking about what had just happened. I knew I should’ve been extremely embarrassed about being caught by his mother but all I could think was, he loves me. I had a smile on my face that wouldn’t go away as I sat there, gazing into the distance and thinking about the way his muscular body felt leaning over me like that. The way his strong arms had held me, his large hands tangled in my hair. I laughed a little, thinking about his face when he saw his mother.  
“What’s so funny?” a voice said besides me. I snapped out of it, finally noticing Poe sitting besides me in the empty hanger.   
“Oh, Poe,” I smiled, “hey.”  
“Hey yourself,” he said, nudging me with his shoulder, “what’re you fantasizing about, all alone here?” he asked, looking at me with those kind eyes of his.  
“General Organa caught Ben and I making out.” I laughed. Poe smiled but he looked pained.   
“What is it?” I asked.  
“You didn’t tell me you were sleeping with the leader of the First Order, and now he says he loves you? I just, don’t understand, I guess.” he shrugged slightly.  
“First off, we’re not sleeping together, we’re... together.” I shrugged,  
“I don’t really know what to call it but he loves me and I love him.”  
“He called you his girlfriend.” Poe said, rubbing the back of his hand like he does when he’s concentrating or concerned. I wasn’t sure which it was.  
“I guess that’s what we are then, boyfriend and girlfriend.” I smiled a little at that.  
“How’d it happen?” Poe asked, I shook my head and looked at my feet.  
“I don't really know,” I said, looking back into those warm eyes.   
“I guess when we started contacting each other over our bond. Cause, you know, I hated him at first, but through our bond I started to see the conflict in him, the good. And I guess I started to slowly fall in love with that good side of him. That’s why I was so dead set on turning him. And I guess he fell in love with me. Then one day, he stabbed me -”  
“WHAT?!” Poe said, turning towards me and staring deeply into my eyes, concerned.   
“No no, it’s fine,” I assured him, placing my hand on his shoulder.   
“He was immediately repentant and took care of me. That was a couple weeks ago and now he’s here, at my home, with my friends, but not in the way i’ve been dreaming of.” Poe smiled sadly at me,   
“You really love him, huh?” he asked.  
“I do.” I responded.  
“Then I’m happy for you,” he smiled and pulled me into a side hug.

 

Kylo

 

They pulled me out of my cell about an hour after they’d put me back in and dragged me back to the hangar. Somehow the crowd had grew even more, everyone coming to see the fate of the evil Kylo Ren. Even though the crowd was huge, as I passed through a hush fell over the crowd. The guard shoved my roughly into my folding chair, and everyone was still, suspense dripping off every flight jacket in the room. My eyes found Rey, still in the front row and she smiled reassuringly at me before I turned my attention to the panel in front of me.  
“Kylo Ren-”  
“Ben Solo, please.” I said, stopping the Admiral. He sighed,  
“Ben Solo, we have come upon a decision. We have decided to give you a choice.” He paused, and every single person held their breath.   
“You can either, join the Resistance and spy on the First Order for us, helping us bring down Snoke and his Empire. Or you can spend your life locked in the cell from which you just came.” I stared at him, like what he was proposing was even a choice, and I smiled at him and stood up. He looked wary as I took a couple steps towards the center of the room. I turned towards Rey and smiled,   
“Looks like I’m joining the Resistance.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is a short but angsty chapter, it won't make sense if you haven't read the rest of the story so go do that if you haven't!

Rey

A large smile spread across Ben’s face as a guard took off his handcuffs, his eyes staring so deeply into my soul I felt naked before him. He rubbed his wrists and turned his smile to the guard, nodding appreciatively.   
“You will have full roam of the base like any other Resistance member but you are not allowed to leave, you are not allowed to have weapons unless on a mission, and you must report to your parole officer every day.” The admiral said with a curt nod.  
“And who would that be?” Ben asked, quirking his eyebrow. Poe stepped out of the crowd from besides me and said,  
“That would be me.”  
“Ah, the pilot, this should be fun.” Ben said with a half smile and that glimmer in his eyes.  
“Ben” I chastised, he glanced at me and smiled, making me feel vulnerable and exposed again; I smiled back but protectively crossed my arms over my chest. His face fell a little and his eyebrows drew in towards each other as he looked away from me. Poe noticed this and shifted uncomfortably,  
“I’ll uh... i’ll see you friday at 4.” He said, and left uncomfortably. After that everyone else started filing off slowly, conversing amongst themselves, until it was just us, standing in the middle of the hanger. Ben stared at me, his brows furrowed,   
“Are you okay?” he asked, taking a step towards me. I smiled sheepishly and nodded, staring at my feet. I felt his hand graze my arm and I jumped at the cold touch.  
“What is it?” he asked, placing his hand under my chin and lifting my face to look at him. I smiled reassuringly, but sadly,  
“I- it’s- it’s nothing. It’s just the trial and... the visions i’ve... been having... lately.” His brows furrowed and he pulled away slightly, his cold hand dropping from under my chin.   
“What visions?” he asked, sounding slightly peeved.  
“They’re more dreams really, but... Ben, they’re awful. They’re recurring but each time they’re different... except for one aspect. Each dream starts with a feeling of longing and ends with darkness. Just darkness. In my soul. Around me. It’s awful.” I felt a burning in my throat and eyes and I blinked rapidly to keep the tears back. Ben looked slightly taken aback and nervous. He didn’t say anything, just nodded pensively.  
“Ben? What is it? Tell me.” I demanded, gripping his bicep. He dragged his eyes from the concrete floor to mine; and he looked scared, for the first time since I’d met him, he looked genuinely scared.

Kylo

 

When I was a padawan, training with Luke Skywalker at that ancient Jedi Temple, I started to have dreams. Dark dreams. Dreams that filled me with dread and fear. The same dreams Rey had. I was filled with a longing, and I had to find out for what I longed. Everytime I found it, and at first I never liked what a found, but as time passed and I grew in the Force, I started to like it. I liked the empty feeling the dreams brought; they no longer scared me. I know now this was just Snoke controlling me, but I didn’t then; it was this longing for that truly empty feeling that lead me to the Dark Side. This is why I was so scared in that moment when Rey told me about her dreams.  
“Ben? What is it? Tell me.” she was gripping my bicep tightly. I met her eyes and saw that she too, was scared, more than me maybe. I shook my head slightly, my eyes and throat burning.  
“Snoke...” I whispered, “he- he, um- he manipulated me with those same dreams when I was a Padawan. It’s how he- turned me.” Her eyes widened and the tears that had been building spilled out of her eyes, her mouth was gaping.  
“No. no no no no no.” Rey repeated over and over, she was almost doubled over at this point and was holding her head tightly and shaking it. I felt tears spill over onto my cheeks also.  
“Rey,” I grabbed her forearm gently. “Rey!” She continued to shake her head,  
“No no no no no” she whispered softly, “no. god, please no.”   
“Rey!” I yelled, tears flying off my face. She looked up, unable to control her sobbing, and fell onto my chest. I wrapped my arms around her tightly and whispered into her hair,  
“It’s okay. Just because this turned me darkside doesn’t mean it’ll turn you. You’re stronger than me. You’re stronger than Snoke. You can fight this. We can fight this. Snoke doesn’t stand a chance against the combined forces of Ben Solo and Rey.” I laughed a little and so did she. “Okay?” I asked, kissing the top of her head. Her sobs resided and the tears dried on my face, but still I held her tightly, there, in the middle of the hanger.   
“Okay,” she whispered against my chest.  
“Why don't I take you to dinner in the cantine, get your mind off this mess, and tomorrow we make a plan of attack?” She pulled away and smiled,   
“Sure,” she said, “we need to celebrate your win today anyway.” I smiled widely and grabbed her hand as she led the way through the sprawling army base- my new home- to the run-down cantina.


	8. a plan of attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben come up with a plan of attack but only one of them likes it.

Rey

I had another dream that night, the same as always, but there was one thing that was different. Tonight Ben was there to comfort me. He snuck over from his room down the hall the spend the night with me; quietly sneaking in after all the lights on base were turned out and everyone except the night shift guards had gone to sleep. I fell asleep in his arms, and woke up in them, then fell asleep again, this time dreamless.  
We spent all day that day coming up with a “plan of attack,” but nothing good came to us until just before dinner, when I was fixing up the ragged X-wing I had just been appointed to.  
“I could pretend to go dark and become Snoke’s apprentice, then kill him.” I blurted out, my head fully inside the engine compartment. I heard Ben drop the wrench he was holding for me,  
“No. Absolutely not.” he said firmly, angrily muttering to himself as I heard to wrench scrape across the ground; I assumed he was fumbling trying to pick it up.  
“Why not?” I asked, pulling my grease stained face out of the engine compartment to look at Ben below me.  
“He’d see right through it. It wouldn’t work. And I’m not putting you in that danger.”  
“So I go full dark, for real. You’ll save me, I know you will.” I saw a storm cloud cross his face as he angrily shook his head.  
“No. You don’t understand what it’s like. You’re not doing it and that’s that. I won’t hear any more of this.” Now it was my turn to be angry,  
“You don’t think I can handle this? That I’m strong enough? I can do this! Can you?” His face fell,  
“No. I can’t,” he said “I can’t see you go to that dark place I was in for so long.” My face softened and I descended the latter to plane my hand on his arm,  
“I was able to get you out of it when you had been in the dark for so long, I will be barely there, just below the surface, you’ll be able to get me out in time to kill Snoke. I know you will.” He shook his head,  
“No,” he whispered, “you’re not doing it.” I could see he wasn’t going to change his mind, but I hadn’t.

Kylo

“She wants to go to the dark, to go to Snoke. She thinks I can save her and then she can kill him.” I confessed to my mother. We were sitting in her office, decorating with commendations and pictures of her and my father and Luke. I still shuddered at the thought of my old master, of him holding his lightsaber over me that night, ready to kill. I know now that he wasn’t going to do it, that he couldn’t go through with it, but the thought of my uncle and trusted mentor even entertaining the thought was enough for me to never want to see him again. I pull my eyes away from the fading photo of the four friends with medals hanging around their necks. My mother looks concerned.  
“We just got you back from Snoke and now Rey wants to give herself to him? No no no, there are other ways to win a war.” She sighs heavily, all the years of running rebellions weighing on her.  
“I don’t want her to do this either but, if you don’t mind me asking, what ways?” I enquire. She looks disheartened, looking away from me and towards that familiar photo of her past life,  
“I don’t know,” she admits, “the First Order grows every day, taking over more and more of the galaxy and destroying more and more of our allies. Our numbers are dwindling, we don’t know what to do.” She ran her finger over the frame, sadly reflecting on a time of victory.  
“We are the spark that will light the flame that will burn the First Order down.” She looked up at me in surprise and I smiled softly,  
“A phrase I’ve heard Dameron say several times.” She smiled,  
“He’s right, you know. I shouldn’t lose hope, especially not now when all we have is hope. Rebellions are built on hope. We may be small but so is a spark. We’ll figure this out, we will.” She smiled with a renewed sense of confidence.

Rey

After Ben had gone to bed I got a ping from General Organa requesting my presence at a war council meeting. It seemed odd, considering the hour, but I suppose a rebellion never sleeps. I snuck out, not wanting to wake Ben, especially since I had a sneaking suspicion Leia didn’t want him to know. When I opened the door to the war council I discovered no one at the long table but Leia. She sat in the room by herself, all the usual holographic models and maps switched off for now.  
“You’re our only hope Rey,” she said, gesturing for me to sit. I did so slowly, confused and nervous.  
“Ben told me about your plan,” she said. “It’s awful and one hundred percent a bad idea, but it’s our only hope. You’re our only hope. You, and Ben.” My jaw dropped a little, I wasn’t expecting support from Leia on this, and I’d certainly never get it from Ben.  
“Ben will never agree though,” I said, my head dropping a little in defeat.  
“He doesn’t have to. Why do you think we’re meeting at this hour? Once you’re with Snoke he’ll have no choice but to save you. And once he’s there, once you’re back to the light, you two can cut the head off the snake once and for all.” My jaw dropped again,  
“G-General...” I stammered,  
“Oh don't look so surprised,” she said, crossing her arms, “leading a rebellions takes the ability to make tough calls, sometimes even calls you don’t like, and sometimes ones that don't need to be disclosed to the rest of the war council.” She raised her eyebrows at me and I nodded in understanding.  
“You’ll have to leave now, tonight.” She said, “grab what you need quietly, get in your ship and go. Next time we see you the galaxy will be a different place.” She stood, and motioned for me to leave. I stood, my legs shaking,  
“Th-thank you” I stammered, she gave me a soft smile and a nod and ushered me out of the room.  
I quietly ransacked my drawers, filling a sack with all the things I would need, nestling my lightsaber on top. I hoped I would get to use it again, but was unsure of what the future held. Would I ever come back? With this thought ringing in my ears I took one last glance back at Ben’s sleeping form and closed the door to my former life, hoping I would get to return to it some day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay I know I said chapter 8 was gonna be fluffy but it felt too weird after the ending of chapter 7 so instead you get more drama


End file.
